John, you were always there when I needed you. You were one of the biggest joys I ever had in my life. It’s hard living without you, but I know you are still with me. You said it yourself, when I get sad when I’m remembering a dear loved one, it’s because they are there with me. I know you are looking on to me, and I thank you John. You were someone I could always be myself as, you are my best friend, you are who I spent every day of my life for so long and I always loved listening to you, reading the stuff you sent me, we could be each other around us. I didn’t need to hide any part of me at all and I really thank you for all those fond memories and the things you taught me, as well as the things I taught you. I’m going to miss you John, I’m sure many people will miss you. But I respect you and as much as it pains me, I want to believe that you are feeling better now.
I am sorry John, I am sorry I couldn’t be the friend you were to me. I wish I could’ve done more, and every day I keep asking myself why, what could I have done, I listened to you.. I was always there… I cared for you, we cared for each other. I will not let you down John, I will become twice the man I am, I will make it so no one has to go through this alone ever again. I will become someone you can be proud of. I am thankful that we can at least see each other when I sleep.
Good night John, sleep well.

In loving memory of John "Madolche" Edholm,
the friend that everyone needs in their life